I Hope So.

So I haven't exactly been on in a while and maybe it's because I always get lonely this time of year, or just a tad nostalgic but around the middle of february, I always seem to gravitate back to this nefarious infatuation.


I've been whoring my time out to Tumblr lately and I do find it quite odd. Your followers "unfollow" if you haven't posted in eight hours, everyone is beyond obsessed with Harry Potter and everyone seems to be suffering from unrequited love.


Now, I know that this blog, just like the blog of every other angst-ridden teenager has in the past referenced not so much "love," but "like" at least. Still, this influx of faux-meaninful slit-my-wrists bullshit is beginning to make me feel empty. I used to be the kid that always had a small crush on someone and I'm still the kid who freaks out if word gets around about such crushes but lately, I haven't been feeling anything for anyone.


I just feel kind of empty.


I found someone I could be cute with and he was nice and I think he wanted to be cute with me too (though he's so cute in every sense of the word that he wouldn't appear to have the first clue about how to attain such a status update of facebook). I haven't spoken to him in a month. I haven't spoken to many people actually, my mother included and I feel lonely but I have no compulsion to do anything about it. I would like college to start again so that I might be around people all the god damn time and drink copious amounts of alcohol and fuck up the way normal teenagers seem to.


Maybe I'll kiss another boy this year, maybe I'll stay out all night and wake up somewhere foreign, maybe I'll have brunch and go shopping and have sex (because that didn't get crossed off the list so yes, I'm still a virgin). Maybe I'll make more friends but keep my old ones and stop being such a bitch and hook up and fall in love and reconcile with my mum and fill the void that just seems to be getting bigger and bigger.


I hope so.


I'm sending my love out to the cyberworld again this year. I hope you missed me.