Eyes Wide Shut.

A boy tried to hook up with me last night and I cant think of anything else bar what my friend told me that the boy (the other boy, the one that features) told her. It's my own fault, he said, I knew what I was getting myself into. 
But he seems angry at me now. Because of the other boy. 


Hannah and I had a picnic on the grass for dinner and looked at the clouds in the late afternoon. One day, I promise I'll almost always be happy. Like I was then. 


Red lines crawl over the skin that hides under layers of clothing. I feel like a roadmap and I'm too afraid to ask a doctor if something's wrong. I just keep my necklines modest and my mirror experiences minimal. If I cant see them, the don't exist. 


Mother loves me, but I wish sometimes that she could accept me too. 


They call it the city that never sleeps because a long time ago, the people saw something very bad and now they know better than to close their eyes. 


I feel so alone.