Electronegativity

It's been too long since my last post. So the fact's are that I've finished high school with decent marks. Top three percent of the state or something. But having the smarts doesn't make you a good kid in my mother's eyes.

I'm single again, have been for just over a month. And I feel bad because my friends tell me I was the victim, because I was the one that got dumped by text. But I was a god-awful girlfriend too. And I really did fuck it up this time. And worst of all, I miss having him as one of my best friends.

I want to have high electronegativity this year.

I want to be appealing.

I entered into a flirtation of the eyes with a pouty lipped indie boy at the Glen Innes Show. As it turns out, I'm decent at flirting with my eyes. Or at least, the boys say hello. But maybe I just look sad and they're desperate.

To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised.

I compromised my morals at an eighteenth last month. I got drunk and cried a lot. And my friend held my hand and told me it would be okay. I'm still trying to work out if I believe him.

I move onto the university campus this saturday and mother still doesn't want me to go. I love her so much and I hate to hurt her, but I do think this is something I need to do. Repair our relationship by letting it lie for a while. Instead of just fighting and then fighting some more.

Anyone else out there doing Chemistry and English Literature? If you are, send me a message. I'd like to know what studying the mix is like.

All my love to the cyber world (and go listen to Jack's Mannequin. Dear Jack.)

x Bea.